One of the coolest things that can happen in your life is when God leads you down that path that is different than the one you thought you were taking. It is like when you look at a map and you think you are on a particular highway and you realize that you are on some totally different one. But being on that different road is just fine because it has way better scenery anyway and you still get somewhere great! Those life detours are such awesome ways to see God’s sovereignty really shine and to see how He really does know us better than we know ourselves.

It is so funny how we almost always experience those kinds of moments when it comes to jobs. We think we should go one career direction and God thinks we should go some other, and we end up where God wants us. But God is so awesome that where we end up is precisely where we need to be! I am happy I am getting to experience that kind of thing right now. As I am preparing for a job that is different than the one I originally thought I wanted, it is so neat to think about how God knew exactly what I needed, even more so than I did.

I had no idea what I wanted to do or where I would go to college when my senior year of high school came around. My grades were so terrible that I did not even think I could go to college. I picked going to Corban University because of a guy, yes a guy. I knew NOTHING about the school except what he had told me about it. He had gone a year before me and so when it came time to apply for schools and I realized I would never get into the state schools I was looking at I decided well hey, I am a Christian, maybe this Christian school will take me. So they did. And how I decided what I was going to major in? You guessed it, that same boy! I had thought about teaching way back in elementary school when they would always ask what we wanted to be when we grow up and I’d say “teacher!” but as a senior in high school I think I was going through a phase where I wanted to be a doctor. But I chose teacher, because that boy always raved about how great of a teaching school Corban was, and how he was going to become a teacher. So I thought well if he is going to do it, I am too. I picked teaching biology because I love, love, LOVE science! I am such a science nerd! If there is a science documentary on, I will be watching it, I guarantee that. So I figured biology would be great. I did not think very much about how that would mean that I would have to teach high schoolers thought. In fact, I did not think about any of this very much. Like I said, I was just following some guy. 

The funny thing is, I turned out to love Corban, and to love teaching, even long after that boy I followed there dropped out early. With each passing year I was getting more and more excited about being a Biology teacher. When it came for student teaching and I had the choice of teaching high school and middle, I chose not to do the middle school practicum. I decided from a previous observation I did at a middle school that I hated middle schoolers. That was also probably fueled by everyone else around me who constantly pointed out how terrible they are and how they would not even touch the thought of teaching them with a 35 foot pole. So I graduated with a search for high school biology jobs on my mind.

I did not get a high school biology job when I graduated, even though I looked and tried for several months. Instead, this past school year I have been substitute teaching. But God has a way of giving us exactly what we need, so looking back, I am thankful for how things turned out for this school year. Was I really ready for my first full time teaching job? Now that I think about it, I do not think I was. Substitute teaching has taught me that I needed some extra experience. It also taught me which grade levels I actually do want to work with. In college I chose high school because I was following that subject Biology, not because I had a heart for that age group. But through substitute teaching I realized I really do have a heart for middle schoolers and working with that age group fits more with my teaching philosophy. Not only did I learn a lot about myself as a teacher through substitute teaching, I gained confidence. The rapport that I established at the schools that I worked at assured me that I can be an excellent teacher and that I am on the right track. So God knew that I needed to be a substitute teacher, not a full time one this year.

And God knows what kind of teacher I am supposed to be next school year as well. The beginning of this year I solidified the decision that I was going to move to Colorado this summer, so I began the process of putting together job application stuff and looking out for jobs in Colorado. The months passed by and I did not see anything in the area that I was moving to, and that made me stressed. Then May came around and with it came a job that peaked my interest but I did not apply for it right away because I figured I would not get it. It was a middle school math and science job, which sounded great to me, except I am not math certified yet. I have been wanting to be math certified, but I have not made the move towards it yet. So I pushed that job opportunity aside, thinking it was not for me.

A little nudge from a very supportive and caring friend gave me the courage to just go ahead and apply for that job. And well let’s just say I am very glad I did, because God placed that job in my hands in a very simple, almost easy way. Shortly after applying for that job I received a very early morning call to schedule an interview. The interview was done over skype which was super awkward! Also I was very nervous so I was stumbling over all of my words. On top of that, I was asked to teach them a math problem, one I thankfully knew, as if they were a middle schooler. Let’s just say that was probably the most awkward moment of my life!! I thought that interview went horribly, but the next day I received a call saying that they wanted to offer me the job!

This story has God written all over it from the very beginning. The tools that He uses to shape us and get us where we need to be, tools that spring out of weird situations, and trials, and moments where we think we should be going some totally different way, just show how amazingly sovereign and creative He is! I am so excited for this job because I feel confident that even though it is not what I would have originally chosen, it is where I need to be. :) 

Thank God that He has control of my life, that He sees the big picture of things, and that He knows me more intimately than I even know myself. If it was not for all of those things, we would never be where we really needed to be.

Moving Out

Moving out on your own is the dream of every 18+ year old. People hit that age and then want nothing to do with good ol' mom and dad's house anymore. Or maybe mom and dad are the ones doing the shoving out the door. Whatever the case, becoming an adult means getting out on your own, for most people. Except for me, turning 18 meant nothing for me as it would take a lot more than age to get me out of my parent's house.

When I turned 18, I was still pretty content with staying at home. In fact I picked a college that was not too far away. I was perfectly fine with coming home each break and relying on my parents to take care of me. Actually I came home probably once a month, just because I wanted just that, to be taken care of. It did not occur to me to get out on my own while being at college until junior year when all of my friends were doing that.

The summer before junior year I thought about finding an apartment near my college campus, like most of my friends were doing. Living in the dorms becomes not as exciting after a while, and you just want to have your own space. Getting my own place though required a lot of work for me, like getting my license and getting a job. I did not work very hard at those things, so getting my own place did not happen. Dorm life continued my senior year as well, even when I had only 2 classes on campus and would have been better off living off campus near the school I was student teaching at. But that required work too, work I for whatever reason was not interested in doing.

Graduation held the same story, I just was not interested in getting out on my own. Not that I wanted to be the type of person who lives in their parents’ basement forever, I just did not think moving out was the best option for me. So I stayed home, and was productive somewhat, but being home with not many responsibilities really does a number on how old and mature you feel.

Maybe I liked not having responsibility. Or maybe I was just lazy or even scared. Maybe it had to do with my parents not really encouraging me to get out. Or maybe it was my student loans. Whatever it was, moving out just was not on my mind. And neither was really acting like an adult.

It was not until my boyfriend moved out of his parents’ house that I realized it is time for me to get out too. A tough conversation we had one night before he left made me realize I was not doing anything with myself, and that I needed to grow up and get going, somehow, some way. I had gotten way too content with my life of hanging out in front of the TV in my room, letting my parents take care of everything. The only bill I paid was my student loans, which I did with my parents’ money. I got driven everywhere and did not have to pay for much of anything. I shoved things in mom’s shopping cart at the store, got away with not doing any chores, and did not have a job. Pretty good sounding life huh? Like I said, I was not really living like an adult or living very maturely.

That tough conversation made me think about finally getting a license and working hard at getting a job, and eventually moving out. I could not move out when he was doing it, but I knew I could soon. It was the long distance relationship thing though that really sealed the deal of where and when I was moving.

So here I am today, budgeting, staring at moving boxes, and pinning apartment decoration ideas because it is time for me to move. My parents have been wonderful in taking care of me all of these years, but I know that staying with them another year is not the right thing for me. I am becoming stagnant water as I am sitting here. I am not growing very much in my relationship with God, or growing towards becoming a productive adult member of society, or growing in the effort I put in my relationship because this home breeds contentment, not growth.

So I am ready and excited to move out, to have my own place, to live the way that I think God is asking me to live. I know it will be a challenge, but I am ready to take that leap, and leap I will in one month!

 Maybe I was a little bit of a late bloomer with this growing up thing, but hey, better late than never right?