Either you breakup or you get married, and well I chose #2

There's a quote floating around out there that says something along the lines of that all relationships are going to turn out one of two ways, either you breakup, or you get married. Wow, kind of crazy when you think about it that way huh? Either you are going to experience some heartbreak from a breakup, or you're going to experience a lifetime with the one that you love.

Lately there has just been so much marriage related stuff going on in my world. Celebrities getting married or breaking up, people around my school getting engaged, married, or broken up, the hours that I've spent looking at wedding photos (haha!). It's makes me think and look at the relationship that I am in, and I wonder, what is going to happen to us. And then I relax and say, yeah we are probably going to get married. 

HOLD THE PHONE!!

You can't say that! You're 3 months into the relationship, you're 20 years old, you don't know what love is, you can't get married now!!!

Have those words actually been said to me? No. But I have certainly heard the skepticism and the worry in the voices of my close friends whenever I tell them that I am pretty darn sure I know who I am going to marry, and he's the one that I am with. You can't know that this young, this early. But can't I? If what I am feeling is not what I am feeling, then I have no idea what is going on. 

I feel like there's a set way that relationships are supposed to go. You meet a nice member of the opposite sex, you become friends with them over a period of several years. You then start dating for a period of several more years, and then finally after 5 years of dating, you decide you want to marry this person, and thus you get engaged. Great stuff, excellent way to go about things, but it doesn't always happen that way. I think that every relationship is different. God is very creative, and so I think He can plan things to go a different way and it will still work out. If this is the method that God uses in your life, great, that's wonderful, but please, don't judge what's going on in my life, because God has a different plan for me. 

My boyfriend and I have only know each other for what, 5 months or so, if even that. We've been in a relationship 3 of those months. And yet, I am confident that somewhere down the road God intends for us to get married. We built our relationship on a foundation of friendship, our relationship is all about getting to know each other more and to see if we are compatible for marriage, and yeah it hasn't been that long but each and every day as we grow closer and closer together, I am more and more sure that I don't want anyone else. Why can't I think that? Why can't I decide that I don't want to look for guys anymore, that this one is everything that I ever wanted in a guy and 10 times more, and I don't think there's anything better out there for me. And I know that because I know him. I know my boyfriend, I don't know everything about him, but I know his hopes, his dreams, his wishes, his fears. I know his major personality traits, I know how he thinks. I've got a lot more to learn, and that's what I will spend the days ahead doing. But I know enough for right now, and I know enough to think that we're compatible.

Because I have decided that I want to marry him, does not mean that I am going to go out and get eloped next Thursday. No. Marriage is super important to me, and it is to him, and it is not something to be taken lightly and thrown around. It involves lots of preparation and lots of prayer and lots of guidance from God. And that's what is going on right now. I feel that this is the man that God has intended for me to marry someday. I have no reservations about saying that. I don't think that I am being unwise when I say that. I can give you ten billion reasons why I feel like he is the one. You know how they say that when you find the one, you just know, well I just know.  I look at divorce statistics and they absolutely disgust me, and they scare me. I want my marriage to be as stable as it can be, built on the foundation of God, full of love and trust. I want it to be done the right way. So marriage is a serious thing to me and now, I'm turning to God for guidance and direction so that His will be done and things turn out the way they are supposed to. 

There is so much more to marriage than planning your wedding day. I know that. I'm turning to God and asking Him for guidance and asking Him to prepare me for marriage, not my wedding day. I ask God each and every day to shape me into the woman that He created me to be, and the wife that I need to be to my future husband. I'm thinking about the big questions like handling conflict, money, and the roles in the home, dealing with in-laws, having children, and whether our passions and dreams and goals are compatible. I'm not ready for marriage right now, goodness no. But I will get there when it's time. It's not like I am getting married tomorrow or even within the next year. I'll get married when I'm as prepared as I can be, I just know who I am going to meet when I walk down that aisle. 

There is a possibly that God will shake things up. He gives and he takes away, yes that is true. But where do you stop worrying about whether or not God is going to shake your world up. Where do you stop worrying about what God is going to take away from you next. I choose to think that God has blessed me with this wonderful man, and that he intends for us to stay together and eventually get married. And if that's not the case, then I think God would be speaking to me and telling me so. I've been listening out, and as far as I can tell, God has been giving me the green light. 

So I think the relationship that I am in now is one that's leading towards marriage, and I am very confident about that. I feel like lot of people are worrying about me when I make a statement like that, and I just have to say, relax you guys. God has got my back. If I felt like God was telling me no, then I would rethink things. I can't help it that God has laid this on my heart so early, but I don't know what you'd want me to do about it. I love my boyfriend, I want to marry him, and I will someday. And you can do one of two things, understand that we are thoroughly seeking God's will in this matter and spending lots of time growing and preparing, and pray for us, or you can continue to make me feel like I am being judged because you don't think I know what I am doing. I might not know what I am doing, but God does, and He's the one that's in control. 

Yes, it's been 3 months, I love my boyfriend and I want to marry him. And honestly, I can't remove those feelings. But don't worry, I am and will continue to use God's discretion and guidance and wisdom when acting on them. :)