I'm 3 months into a serious relationship, you all know that though, cause I sure talk about it enough, but anyways I'm in this relationship, and let me tell you, it is probably the hardest, but most wonderful experience that I have ever had. And it is definitely a stage for a lot of lessons to be learned. I think I have grown up so much in the last couple of months, more than I ever have at any other point in my life. God has definitely been piling on the lessons along with the blessings, that's for sure. So I just want to share the things that I have learned, the easy lessons, and the super hard ones too. Maybe they will be encouraging to someone out there reading. :)
Patience
Let me tell you, I have like no patience whatsoever. Well, I had no patience. I like to think I've gained some recently. But patience wasn't anywhere near my vocabulary until God decided to really teach me to have some the last couple of months.
In a relationship, you need patience. You need patience with dealing with any human being really, but especially in a relationship. You are going to be together with someone who is different from you in some way or another, so you have to learn to be patient in growing to understand that person. When you are in a long term relationship especially, you need to be patient between times of getting to see each other. You need to be patient with communication, especially if your schedules are vastly different. You need to be patient as your significant other grows and learns and makes mistakes. Patience is so important and God is really showing me that. I am learning that you just need to sit back and relax sometimes and stop being so antsy.
Showing Love is More Than Saying "I Love You"
This is easily the hardest lesson that have learned and am still working on. Before, I thought that showing someone that you love them and care about them was done by saying "I love you," and being there for that person, and doing nice things for them. But it is a little more than that. I have found that no matter how sincerely I can say "I love you," it doesn't ring in as clearly as an action that says that. It's always said that actions speak louder than words, and I think that with love, that is definitely the case. I love you means very little, unless you back it up with an action that speaks the same thing, and that action varies from person to person. That is why knowing about and understanding love languages is so important! You NEED to know your significant other's love language! Not only know it, but speak it, and speak it often! This is why relationships, and why love in general is not a stroll in the park. Loving someone takes work, it takes an effort on your part to make sure that you are constantly doing the things that make them feel loved.
Take it Slow!
I think it is super important to take a relationship slowly, though it is frustrating with some people for several reasons. But I think it is important to apply the brakes sometimes. Lately I have been super excited about the fact that in a few years I am probably going to marry my boyfriend. But God has also been flashing a red light in the corner of my eyes telling me to slow down. Thinking about marriage makes me forget about the life that I am living right now. Not being content with where you are makes you miss out on all the things that God is blessing you with in this present moment. I've heard this phrase somewhere, I think it's something along the lines of, if you're not married, don't act like it. I'm pretty sure that has something to do with doing physical things with your significant other, but I like to think that it can refer to any action. I have been sitting here planning my wedding (and my wedding night), what I am going to do about work when I have kids, how many kids I want and their names, where we'd live, how each day would be like, yadda yadda yadda. I've also been forgetting about friends, family, God, and school work. My boyfriend was my world, and everything else didn't matter unless it had something to do with him, and you know what, that's not healthy. So I'm learning that I need to be content with this relationship, stop planning things that I don't need to plan yet, and just take things slow. We will get married someday, best not to race to the altar and miss out on the scenery along the way. And along the way we don't need to act like we are married. When you are married, your spouse is your whole world, and everything you do kind of does revolve around them, (but make sure God is #1 too!!), but right now we are still young, we aren't anywhere near married, and so we don't need to act like it and push everything else God wants us to experience away.
Your moods bounce off one another
When my boyfriend is happy, I am happy, and when he is frustrated or upset, I am frustrated and upset. And the same goes for him. Our feelings bounce off one another, we feel what the other feels. Sometimes it's a good thing, and sometimes it's bad. God is teaching me that I need to be aware of that, and watch out when that happens. If my boyfriend is in a sour mood, I am in a sour mood, even if there is no reason for me to be. This becomes distracting and leads to lost sleep, and the occasional tears that don't need to be shed. It is important to not let their mood bring you down. If one of you aren't staying positive, that just makes for a sad, pitiful, moping party where no healing and encouragement is had. Another way that you need to watch out, is when it comes to dealing with sexual stuff. If one of you are feeling turned on, it's going to turn the other on, and that can end up some place you don't want it to go. So I guess my lesson here is, be aware that your emotions are effecting the other.
Anyways those are the things that I have been learning so far. It's been a great 3 months full of many blessings, but God hasn't hesitated to shoot some important lessons my way too. And that's all I have to say about that. :)
There are more lessons that are to come, I'm sure. And when they do, I'll share them!
Love y'all!
:)
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