Probably my second biggest struggle in my life is not filtering the things that I say. I am a very honest, very blunt, very open person. I will talk about anything with anyone. I gossip quite a bit. I just let words spew uncontrollably from my mouth and it sometimes can be inappropriate, offensive and/or inconsiderate. That is what happens when I don't take the time to really think about what I am saying. There's no filter, and I need to change that and make God my filter. I really need to watch what I say.
Over the last couple of months or so, God has been opening my eyes to this flaw in my life, and as what has unfortunately been the case with me, it takes someone getting hurt before my stubborn self is like okay God, I am ready to be helped and have this flaw taken care of. Sometimes God needs to give us a tough lessen before conviction and sincere repentance is fully felt, and I feel like that is the case with me. This weekend I thought about how many times I have said something to someone in the last week that had been hurtful, or inappropriate, or just something that someone didn't need to hear, and that was overwhelming. I think it is definitely time for a big change.
There are so many verses in the Bible that say do not let dirty or harmful speech flow from your mouth and to watch what you say and yet I have a nasty habit of continuing to do those things because I don't think about what I am saying. .I never set out with the intent to harm someone with my words, but I never set out with the intent not to either. Let me put it this way; I don't want to hurt people, but I don't take enough actions to prevent that, and I think that can be just as bad.
So how do you watch what you say? What steps need to be taken so that you are glorifying God with your speech, and not harming others.
1.) Refrain from using filthy language. This means don't let dirty things come out of your mouth, no cursing, no foul words, nothing indecent, no obscenities.
8 But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips.
The Bible says in Colossians 3:8 to not let flithy language come out of your mouth. So we shouldn't be making dirty and crude jokes. We also shouldn't be talking about sex or any sex related topic in a way that is not for educational and informational purposes. What is an educational or informational purpose? One that is not designed to cause someone to stumble or that creates lustful images in someone's head. Sex really only should be discussed in an educational situation, otherwise intimate sexual details should be shared only between a married person and their spouse. I think that referring to bodily functions in a not educational way also can become filthy and indecent. And besides, what goes on in the bathroom doesn't really make for good conversation, nor does it glorify God. Dropping the F-bomb or other bad words is not a great way to glorify God either, and is just plain offensive. In short, just don't say dirty or offensive things. I figure if it's not something that you could say to your mom, then you probably shouldn't say it at all.
2.) Only say things that are uplifting. Ephesians 4:29 says:
29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
This means that the things that we say should only uplift and encourage. We should never say things that will harm another person or damage their reputation in another person's eyes. I know I am definitely guilty of both of these things, but especially the latter. When I come back into the room at after class, me and my roommate always talk about our day. I always come back bearing stories about something that someone has did or said in one of my classes or along the way to it. I usually say something like they are weird, they are dumb, or something else that isn't very uplifting. What am I doing? I am damaging their reputation in my roommate's eyes. If I come back and say, "Such and such said this today and he was being such a complete tool" that makes my roommate think, oh man, I don't want to be around that person then if they are acting that way. This is a form of gossip, and it is hurtful and damaging to someone. Watch what you say to people. If there is an occasion when you need to speak to someone in a not so positive light, like when they are doing something that is clearly wrong, then approach them out of love, and give constructive criticism, something that will help them to improve, not bring them down. As Christians we ought to encourage the people around us. We also shouldn't gossip, cause while that isn't speaking harmful words directly to the person, it is spreading things that aren't true and damaging their reputation with others.
2.) Don't say words that cause someone to stumble.
32 Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God—
Another thing that we shouldn't do, is say things that will cause someone to stumble. You don't want to say anything that will cause someone to feel lustful, angry, or anything else that will be considered a sin to God. I had this modesty class in youth group one day and we talked about being modest with our words as well as our appearance, which I think is super important. Part of the lesson suggested that we watch out about saying things that might bring inappropriate images to to a guy. Things like saying you are going to go to bathroom, going to take a shower, or anything that brings an image that can easily turn sexual, shouldn't be said. Guys especially are extremely visual, so girls really need to be careful what is said to guys. We also shouldn't say things that might cause a person to become angry or feel another feeling that God looks down upon. We don't want to do anything that will cause someone else to sin in any way.
3.) Think, and even pray, before you speak. I find it incredibly helpful to stop, think, and pray a few seconds before I answer a call from my boyfriend. I do this because I want God to be in control of what I say and the direction that our conversation goes. I think I should employ that method as often as I can throughout the day. Taking that split second to let God be the filter over your mouth can help you from saying something you might regret later. Think about what you are going to say and how it will effect the person that you are speaking to, before you speak. This is a little bit easier when you are texting, facebooking, or writing an email where you have much more time to do that and you can see what you are saying before you send it off. But try also to practice something like praying before starting off your day, going to a social event, or going somewhere where you know that conversation is going to take place, and asking God to filter the things that come out of your mouth.
Like I always say, I am no expert on any of the things that I just said. I just know what God has been putting on my heart and teaching me, and I just wanted to share it with you all. I hope that you all will read this and try to make an effort to keep your words pure, uplifting, and glorifying to God.
A tout a l'heure mes amis! (That's french for 'See you later my friends!')
Gabs :)
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